For people who suspect that their spouse may be cheating on them, it can be a common and yet very painful practice to run imagined images of their cheating spouse through their minds. It is so tempting to imagine one's spouse involved in a torrid love affair with an attractive "other" man or woman whose very existence threatens your relationship.
While it can feel like self-torture, the act of imagining your spouse involved in an infidelity type of situation is actually quite natural. After all, when the facts that we have to go on about a possible affair are few and far between, the most natural thing in the world to do is to try to imagine what must be going on. But, it is even better to know the truth.
If you are saying to yourself, "I suspect my spouse is cheating," here are 5 things you should do next:
1. Find out what it really going on:
If you suspect your spouse is cheating, he or she probably is. Even if they are not involved in an actual affair, they very well may be involved in what is known as an emotional affair with another person. Or, they just may be unhappy with your
marriage and occasionally put themselves in situations that could look like an affair from the outside.
The best way to find out is to ask your spouse if anything is going on. Of course, whether or not there is something going on, your spouse will likely deny the possibility. That's okay: what you are looking for is HOW they react to what you say. If they act genuinely hurt and upset, you may have gotten things totally wrong. However, if they try to change the subject or brush it off, an affair is likely.
2. Get them to admit that there is a problem:
If you do believe there is an affair going on, the next thing to do is to get your husband or wife to confess to it. You may not ever get them to actually say they are cheating on you, but if you continue with the right kinds of questions, you are likely to unearth any of the inappropriate behaviors he or she is engaged in. It is important to get their admission that something not healthy for your relationship is going on.
3. Make sure you define cheating in the broadest-possible sense:
Remember, even if your spouse has not actually had sex with another person, they may still be involved in an emotional affair. So, make sure that when you talk to your spouse you define the term broadly enough so that they do not get defensive and clam up. The goal should be to keep them talking.
4. Decide whether you can commit to healing the relationship:
If you do get your spouse to admit that an affair of some sort is going on, you will probably be very angry, sad, hurt, or all of the above. Those feelings are totally natural. And yet, at this point, you need to keep your emotions in check. Right now, you need to decide in your heart whether you can commit to healing the problems that caused the infidelity or not.
5. Decide whether getting counseling makes sense:
If you and your spouse do decide to work on your problems together, consider going to a professional counselor. Also, do your research to find advice that can help you survive your affair and get back to a health place in your lives again.
Do these 5 things if you suspect that your spouse is cheating on you.
Other Articles of Robbie T. James
When you were a kid, nobody told you how hard married life could sometimes be Sure, you saw adult married couples arguing now and then, but the seriousness of the issues they faced eluded you as kid
(Apr 30, 2012)
If you or someone you care about has a hernia, you probably now have a desire to understand as much as possible about what a hernia is, how it is treated, and how to recover from hernia surgery
In general, a hernia is simply the development of a weakness in a major muscle wall of the torso, such as the groin or abdomen
(Apr 30, 2012)
Travel insurance is something that often gets lost in the shuffle when people start planning for a trip abroad When it comes to planning such an exciting trip, it is just no fun to think about all of the "what-if" questions, such as, "What if I fall ill or get into an accident while on my trip
(Apr 29, 2012)
Bank fees are something that most of us never anticipated before we got our first bank account Whether you got your first checking account right out of high school, or maybe when you took your first job, it is likely that you never thought you would end up paying so many bank fees
(Apr 29, 2012)
On the lookout for a new checking account You may find yourself wanting to switch banks because you have become dissatisfied with your current bank's level of customer service, their availability of local branches near you, or their draconian fee policy
(Apr 28, 2012)
Bankruptcy is something that nobody wants to think about When we all start off as bona fide members of the financial world with our first credit card or bank account, the future usually looks pretty rosy
(Apr 28, 2012)
Suffering a hernia can be a different experience for different people For some hernia sufferers, hernias are rather painful, while for others there is little or no pain involved
(Apr 25, 2012)
When you have the need for more cash than you currently have on hand, the situation can become a distraction in your day-to-day life And, when that need becomes more and more intense, it can begin to dominate your every waking moment
(Apr 25, 2012)
Going through personal bankruptcy is a humbling experience for most people If you ask anyone who has declared BK what it was like, you will almost always hear them say, "It was something I never thought I would have to do
(Apr 25, 2012)
Having a bank account opens you up to a world of opportunities In fact, it lets you do so many things with your money that most checking account and savings account holders take them for granted
(Apr 22, 2012)
